


Wishes are for Kids who Dream

by SatinAires



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Ash deserves all of the love he can get, Ash loves Eiji a whole lot, It does lead into some steamy bits but doesn't get explicit, Love Confessions, M/M, Small angst warning for Ash, Soft loving hours, Some stream of conciousness, just a lot of fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-12
Updated: 2019-10-12
Packaged: 2020-12-13 18:41:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21002366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SatinAires/pseuds/SatinAires
Summary: Wishes were for kids who still dreamed.Wishes got real people nowhere. Dreams were just illusions.Yet somehow, Eiji was one of those kids.After finding his way out of a jail cell, Ash is forcibly reminded of the life that he once had to endure. On a rare, calm morning, he found himself in the presence of his new accomplice and friend.





	Wishes are for Kids who Dream

The morning sun warmed the small halfway home that Ash had taken momentary shelter in during their travels, Eiji, Shorter, and everyone else following as he sought out the secret behind the Banana Fish drug. Still, moments like these ones where why he could find himself remembering what it was all for. 

Ash had always been a morning person, so when the sun peered over the horizon, he found himself sitting on the windowsill in the rays, bathing like a feline in the golden light.

A soft sigh and rap of knuckles alerted Ash to the presence of another male in the room, and his attention turned to Eiji who stood at the doorway with knuckles poised against the door frame. Offering his usual small, distant smile, Eiji took one step forward, only to instinctively pause as he remembered Ash claiming this room as his own.

"Ash...may I come in?" He asked, his soft earthy gaze looking the blonde over for a moment, before respectfully turning downward in order to keep from staring.

There was a faraway look in those seafoam eyes as they shifted to meet Eiji's, before he plaintively shrugged and sat back nonchalantly. "Go for it." He spoke up, trying to keep his cool despite the obvious overhanging air of tension.

Just how long could he keep this up for?  
He was losing everything to Dino, first Skipper and now even Griffin was taken from him. It wouldn't be long before Eiji also bit the bullet... Although he wished that it wouldn't come to that.

No, not wishes, wishes are for children who still dreamed.

Ash wanted this peace. He knew how to preserve it decently enough to have a shred of that elusive sense of hope that came and went so quickly. He would make it so it would never happen, even if it meant taking drastic measures.  
"So, what's on your mind?" Ash asked, breaking up the mutterings in the back of his head, his attention returning to Eiji for the moment.

"Um..." Eiji began, something crinkling a bit in his hand as he stepped closer, before leaning beside him. It took him a moment, his thin frame stiffening slightly as he tried to think of how to put his thoughts into words.  
This frighteningly young _boy_ saved his life. Ash risked himself to make sure he lived, and paid the price in jail. Eiji felt a surmount of guilt pile in his chest as he was reminded of the note in his hand, remembering the kiss that they shared, the words that asked for help, and even Eiji’s mistakes that lead to his failure.  
Still, Ash never blamed him. He still did not understand why.  
The crinkle in his hand happened again as the words repeated in his head and tightened in his chest.

"Um..." He began taking tentative steps into the room, seeming to be very aware of Ash’s presence. His words halted and he paused, lips working as he tried to think of what he wanted to say. It took him a moment, his thin frame stiffening slightly as he tried to think of how to put his thoughts into words. "I'm sorry… Ash. I am sorry, that I couldn't do what you asked." He said, bowing respectfully to him in apology. "If I- I-If I had noticed I was followed… I'm sorry. You've done so much for me, and I... I wish I could do more for you."

Ash cocked an eyebrow as the other spoke, finding the behavior rather out of place. He knew that there was a big cultural difference between Japanese and American cultures, but this nonsense that Eiji was spouting was something else. How could he blame himself, for something that wasn’t even his fault?  
Ash waved his hand, as if he really could wave it away. "You Japanese really are masochists, damn." He groaned, kicking his leg over the other.  
"Listen, not everything is your fault. Got it? I knew I asked too much of you, and I wasn't exactly prepared to pay the price. That fault is mine and mine alone. You don't understand how the mafia works, I do. So quit blaming yourself for it, and you don’t owe me." 

Ash let out a deep exhale, shifting so he got a clear view of the ceiling, his eyebrows drawing together in a pensive expression. "I appreciate everything you did, Eiji. You saved mine and Shorter's ass. Had it been him alone, I think things would have gone sideways long before than they did. However, now you're involved. They know you are on my side, and..."

_They're going to use you._

The words permeated in his mind as those damn memories returned, only with Eiji in his place. It didn’t help that he had to sit through those tapes during that interrogation.  
His skin crawled with those invisible maggots he so desperately wanted to claw out. He wanted to be free.  
To be pure.  
Wishes were for kids who still dreamed.

Wishes got real people nowhere. Dreams were just illusions.

Yet somehow, Eiji was one of those kids.

"Look, I can't promise you anything. I can't even offer you anything, not even safety. Are you truly prepared for that? The cost of being by my side?"

"Yes." Eiji said immediately, his eyes narrowing as if he was insulted that Ash even thought to ask the question.

He was serious.

"I'm not going home. Not now. I'm in this, I’ve _been_ in this, Ash. I can’t leave. Not now that I've met you. I can't." He said, before setting down the note that Ash had given him from the capsule before. "I want to help. I don't care what people tell me. I don't care that I don't know everything. I'm going to see this through."

Ash felt a pang in his heart when he heard those words, the unfamiliar deep seated feeling of a strange, crawling warmth overwhelming him.

Eiji was way too trusting. Those eyes, so wide, so... Innocent.  
It hurt.  
He wanted it to stop.  
It hurt so badly to be reminded of how he used to be himself.  
When he used to be a kid with dreams.

Ash let out a scoff, his eyes meeting the other's for a brief moment, then flicking down to his lap. "You hardly know me.” He said, his tone almost biting. “We got mixed up in a scuffle, and suddenly you would lay down your life for some hoodlum in a country you're not even native to..." He began to chuckle, crossing his arms. "They don't make many people like you. You're a real special case, Eiji."

Eiji's brow furrowed at his words, and he actually grit his teeth, pink blooming at his cheeks. "I don't care about that!" He snapped, hands clenched into fists. "You're all alone and it's not fair! It's not fair at all, so what if I am a stranger, if I don't help, who will? Tell me that, Ash. " He asked sharply, before reeling back slightly and returning to his reserved state, eyes quickly dropping to the floor.  
"Look, Ash… I care about you. That's all that factors in right now. Its all I can think about, or process" He said softly, nearing Ash’s side, now. "I don't know why. I just... do."

Ash blinked, sitting up with a vaguely surprised expression.  
Eiji never failed to shock him, sometimes. His earnestness was admirable. "You're a fool, Eiji." He began, shaking his head. He remembered the threats made towards Eiji, towards Skipper, and god knows how many others. The bastards were looking for innocence to break, for minds to fracture and bodies to exploit. Ash wasn't going to allow that to happen. Eiji had expected the half-hearted insult, a small smile coming from it. Maybe he was right, after all. Still, he didn't really care.  
Then, Ash’s expression suddenly lit up, those irresistible jade eyes shining as a thought crossed his mind.

A brief flash of something he didn’t feel could have been possible, just a few days ago.

"Sorry for raising my vo--"

"You're a damned fool." Ash repeated, before standing up and grabbing onto Eiji’s forearms, easing slowly into pressing his lips onto the older man’s, a lot like he had done prior.

However this time, it had no ulterior motive. He had nothing to pass on to him. No message to send. Just… An honest kiss.

Ash was intending on taking. This time, he was going to see to it that for once, his dream could somehow become a reality, if only it was just this once.

Eiji’s eyes widened as he felt his lips against Ash's for a second time, gasping softly as he froze for a moment in shock, just as he had before, only now for his eyelids to droop and his hands to grip lightly at his shirt in _invitation_, gently tugging him closer.

What was he doing?  
Was it wrong?  
Why did everything wrong feel so right, lately? Nothing made any sense anymore.

He liked it that way.

At the invitation, there was no hesitation from the Lynx. Ash walked him back until he hit the wall, putting his hands on each side of his head. The sound that escaped Eiji’s throat made his own face burn as Ash pinned him against the wall, his heart racing a mile a minute in his chest. As the blonde’s lips locked with his, panic began bubbling in Ash’s head.

He wasn't going too far, right?

He wasn't taking advantage of Eiji's kindness?

He wasn't hurting him?

Did it feel good?

Did Eiji want this?

Is this what a real kiss feels like?

What if he was using him, just like everyone else?

Ash broke the kiss, forcing his overactive mind to shut up for once as his eyes met Eiji's. His breathing was heavier, but not nearly as labored.  
It was obvious he had practice with holding his breath, and he took a moment to swallow thickly before catching the rest of his breath. Soon, however, his lips curled into a cheshire grin.  
"Are you enjoying yourself, Eiji?" He purred, slinking around him like the cat that he was nicknamed.  
For once,  
He wanted.  
He needed.

And it scared him.  
It scared him how badly he wanted Eiji.

Eiji stared up at him as he broke the kiss, his eyes dark with a new feeling that mixed with a little bit of confusion. Was this lust? Obviously, at nineteen, he'd explored it before, but to have another person to share it with was something completely different. Eiji panted, breath shuddering as he tried to catch it, before he tugged at Ash’s shirt gently once again, finally managing a word. "A-again..." He breathed, before his brows furrowed slightly. "...Please."  
The soft begging immediately made every anxious worry that Ash was mulling over dissipate, and even made his heart melt. The lynx grinned, pressing his knee between Eiji's legs as he locked lips with him once more, giving the other what he had asked for. The knee against Eiji’s groin brought the shock back, his ears now matching the rest of his face as he let out a soft whimper. Slowly, his free arm wrapped around Ash's neck, palm rubbing as his back in a warm acceptance as he reciprocated the kiss, despite his own inexperience in controlling his breath.

Was this passion? Ash asked himself inside of his mind, feeling the warmth that he and Eiji were sharing.  
Was this love?  
Was this... What sex was supposed to be like?  
Supposed to feel like?

More.  
He wanted more.  
_More._

Ash began feeling along the smaller male’s body, touching his chest and sides through his clothes with the hand he wasn't putting his weight on.  
He wanted Eiji.  
He wanted him alone.

Eiji felt himself melt into Ash’s touch, pressing his chest into his hand and shivering as the brush of his fingers ignited every nerve ending under his skin.  
Something about the way Eiji made it evident that he was reciprocating, leaving his body open for Ash to stroke and touch, made the younger man proud. _This_ was what it was supposed to be. Every one of Eiji's reactions still managed to startled him. He wasn't expecting the usually soft spoken and gentle man to be so forward with his need.

He really wasn't alone in this.  
That was a comforting thought.  
_So this was what love felt like._

Ash felt his throat tighten and burn, his chest constricting and making it difficult to breathe, his eyes almost stinging with the oncoming tears. He brushed it off by breaking the kiss and burying his face into the space between Eiji’s neck and shoulder, pressing subtle kisses as he kept a tight rein on his emotions and controlled his shaking frame.

He had to keep it together.  
He has to.  
Or he would never forgive himself.

Eiji swallowed hard after the kiss broke, panting as he struggled to catch his breath again, before he shifted his eyes over to the other, his voice trembling.  
"I'm not...doing anything wrong...right?" He huffed, anxiety finally welling up as his brain caught up with his actions.  
What if he just needed this tonight?  
What if this wasn't forever?  
He wished it was forever.  
Something about how they melded together felt so right; so deliberate.  
"I understand if you just need me to relieve some stress..." He said softly, offering another of those soft and faraway smiles, breath hitching at the kisses to his neck.  
"But if you really want me....I think I want you...to have me."Eiji muttered, mustering up all the courage in the world to speak it out loud.

Ash's eyes widened as he slammed his hand down by Eiji's head, eyes wide and almost threatening as he stared directly into the other's eyes.  
It was as if Eiji could read his mind, his very own thoughts and turn it against him.  
Of course, it was all just to hurt his own self in the end.  
How typical of Eiji.

"Don't you _dare_." Ash growled, trying to hold himself together. His grasp on his emotions was weakening, and he wasn't going to be able to hold on for much longer. "Don't you dare discredit this..." Ash did not hesitate, grabbing Eiji's hands and pinning them above his head, his own eyes intense. "You get to have the luxury to have this opportunity... So shut up and savor it."

Ash was jealous of Eiji. He said it before, and he meant it.

Eiji knew how to fly.  
Eiji knew what it meant to be free.  
Like hell was Ash going to allow them to take that away from him.

Eiji yelped, his eyes widening a fraction through the haze of lust he was in, before he swallowed back a rising lump in his throat.  
He really did do something wrong.  
He just wanted to help.  
In his state of vulnerability, his lip began to tremble, and he nodded, relaxing his body in his grip and smiling softly. "Alright..." He said softly. "Thank you, Ash."

‘Shit.’ Ash immediately thought, his mind rapidly recoiling from the stern message he was trying to send.  
He made Eiji upset.  
Ash couldn't help the chastisement that ran through his head, but he suppressed it the best he could with kisses he pressed to his throat. His free hand shifted to breach his shirt from underneath, seeking to touch the skin that was hidden away.

Eiji's self-doubt faded after a moment as his head tilted back to allow for the kisses, his throat jumping as he felt the blonde's fingers against his skin.

This was real.

The boy could only moan softly at the unspoken promise that more was coming, goosebumps crawling across the surface as he shuddered. He hadn't realized how much he wanted this, until it had begun. And now, even as he tried to bring rational thought into it - this was his first time. Was this really what he wanted? - he came to no other conclusion than Ash. He wanted Ash to have him. He wanted to be his. 

"Ash..."  
He whispered his name like it was a dream come true, his voice cracking only from the breath that each kiss took away, his eyes finally falling shut, trusting the other with everything.

Ash finally drew his gun from his waistband, setting it on the table as he moved his hands to lift Eiji's shirt, his eyes meeting the other's with a dark, lustful gaze. "Eiji..." He breathed out, finally letting go of his wrists and finally stripped him of his shirt.  
Eiji paused as he heard the gun click down against the table, before he met the emerald gaze that the lynx used so relentlessly against him. He helped the other with his shirt as he gained free reign of his wrists.

"... I don't want you to think this is a one time thing."

Ash spoke up, touching the other's skin as he exposed it. "I don't _do_ one night stands." His eyes were sharp as he said that, glaring at him with that feral look only he has. "When you get wrapped up with me, I don't let go easily. It's both a blessing and a curse, at times." He chuckled lowly at that, but it was obvious that it was truly no laughing matter.  
"Are you sure you want to get this wrapped up with me, Eiji?"

When Eiji heard his name. It replaced lust with something for more pure, and his next words made his chest feel warm, a new kind of love that he never really thought he'd feel. He was too awkward for that.

He loved him.  
Eiji wasn't sure how it happened, or why it happened so fast, but it did. He didn't want to go home unless he could take Ash with him. He didn't want to leave until this 'Dino' had nothing to do with Ash anymore. He wouldn't leave him.

"Yes." He declared, despite the slight breathiness of his tone. "I don't want you to let go. Ever." Eiji stared Ash down as he spoke, making sure he heard the message in his tone. "Maybe it is insane. Maybe I shouldn't. I don't care. I know what it is I want, and… This is what I want."

Ash hadn't expected the sudden confirmation of feelings, nor how honest he was. He didn't know how to process the kindness Eiji was showing him, just by making a promise.  
It was something Ash didn't expect he couldn't handle.  
He wanted to hear it, oh God, how he wanted to hear those three fated words some day said to his face.  
He thought it'd be Griff, but like this-  
This was a welcome surprise. Eiji didn't have to say them, but he felt it. He felt it at his core and it resonated through his being.  
He was loved.  
He, not 'Ash Lynx' but Aslan Jade Callenreese, was loved.

It couldn't stop the tears that fell and the words that were spoken.  
"I love you, Eiji."

Eiji's eyes widened at that, and his face reddened once again as he reached forward, his thumbs running over his face to wipe away his tears as he spoke gently. "I'm sorry, Ash...I didn't mean to make you cry." He said, before his voice quieted, and he rested his forehead against his.  
"I love you too... Thank you. Thank you for sharing this with me." He replied, bowing his head to him lightly, as if it were some great honor to be loved and touched by him.

To him, it was.

Ash didn't stop at that, shifting to remove his own shirt and throwing it across the room.  
He wanted this.  
He wanted Eiji.  
He loved him.

He loved him.

Ash almost laughed at the bitter irony. He got what he wished for.  
This was what he got, he supposed, for falling in love with a dreamer.

Ash moved to lay Eiji down on the bed, his eyes glinting with intent, except this time... This time love radiated through and wasn't held back.

Love.

Yeah, this was what it was.

Was it?

He was certain.

Even if he doubted.

Or maybe-

Shut up, Ash you're overthinking again.

He delved in, kissing down Eiji's chest, treating his skin like it was something to honor, to treasure.  
To love.  
Ash never felt like he could have deserved such bliss before, yet here it was.

The morning light flooded in, and the moment shared was one that neither of them would ever forget.


End file.
